The Last Voyage of the Condoleezza Rice

COME GATHER ROUND MATIES, I’LL TELL YOU A TALE
‘BOUT A SHIP THAT WAS LOST TO A MIGHTY GALE
SHE WAS STRONG, SHE WAS PROUD, SHE WOULDN’T SINK
BUT A BLAST OF HOT AIR DROVE HER DOWN TO THE DRINK
A BLAST OF HOT AIR DROVE HER DOWN TO THE DRINK

IN NINETY-FIVE SHE SET OUT TO SEA
SHE BELONGED TO THE CHEVRON COMPANY
OWNED BY AMERICAN SCALAWAGS
BUT SHE SAILED UNDER BAHAMIAN FLAGS
SHE SAILED UNDER BAHAMIAN FLAGS

AND WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THIS ILL-FATED SHIP?
AND WHERE DID SHE GO ON HER ILL-FATED TRIP?
GLOMMING OIL FROM AFRICA, NEVER THINKS TWICE
THE NAME OF THE SHIP; CONDOLEEZZA RICE
AND THE NAME OF THE SHIP; CONDOLEEZZA RICE

WHEN YOUNG PRINCE GEORGE LIFTED DADDY’S SWORD
‘TWAS OL' GEORGE SCHULTZ WHO BROUGHT HIM ABOARD
HE TOLD BAKER AND CHENEY, “WE’LL CARRY THE DAY”
WE’LL FUNNEL HIM MONEY THROUGH GOOD OL’ KEN LAY
WE WILL FUNNEL HIM MONEY THROUGH GOOD OL’ KEN LAY

THOSE WERE THE DAYS OF EUPHORIA
JAMES BAKER THE PIRATE OF FLORIDA
SAID NOTHING CAN EVER STAND IN OUR WAY
THE OIL PIRATES OF THE U.S.A.
THE OIL PIRATES OF THE U.S.A.

WITH YOUNG PRINCE GEORGE INSTALLED AT THE HELM
HE WOULD NEED HELP OVERSEEING HIS REALM
WE’VE GOT SOMEONE HERE TO GIVE YOU ADVICE
HER NAME WAS CONDOLEEZZA RICE
HER NAME WAS CONDOLEEZZA RICE

CHEVRON OWNS GULF AND TEXACO
IT HAS INTERESTS FROM CHINA TO MEXICO
THEY CHRISTEN THEIR SHIPS FOR THOSE BRINGIN’ RESULTS
LIKE, I KID YOU NOT, THE TANKER "GEORGE SCHULTZ"
I KID YOU NOT, THE TANKER "GEORGE SCHULTZ"

YOUR NAME ON A TANKER CAN MAKE YOU FEEL PROUD
BUT TO A CONFLICT OF INTEREST IT SPEAKS PRETTY LOUD
SO THE WORD CAME FORTH FROM OUR WOULD-BE KING,
“SHE’S GOTTA GIT HER NAME OFF OF THAT THING
OH, SHE’S GOTTA GIT HER NAME OFF OF THAT THING”

SO AN ILL WIND BLEW UP FROM WASHINGTON
AND BEFORE YOU KNEW IT, THE DEED HAD BEEN DONE
SHE SAILED INTO THE SUNSET, NEVER HEARD OF AGAIN
HER NAME WAS CHANGED WITH A STROKE OF A PEN
HER NAME WAS CHANGED WITH A STROKE OF A PEN

HISTORY REPEATS, IT’S HAPPENED BEFORE
A DIFFERENT DISASTER ON A FARAWAY SHORE
THE EXXON VALDEZ IS STILL ROAMING THE SEA
WITH A NEW NAME, A NEW IDENTITY
A NEW NAME, A NEW IDENTITY

SO GO FORTH MATIES AND TELL THEM THIS TALE
BOUT PIRATES AND SCALAWAGS WHO OUGHT BE IN JAIL
THEY SAY “NOT ABOUT OIL” LAUGH HEARTY AND HALE
CONDOLEEZZA RICE WAS ALWAYS FOR SALE
CONDOLEEZZA RICE WAS ALWAYS FOR SALE